fix(status): four of six services reported health nobody measured #5483

The problem

The public /status table is headed "Real-time status of every platform surface" with a "30-DAY UPTIME" column. Four of its six rows were literally this:

{ name: "AI Review", state: "ok", label: "Operational", uptimePct: "100.0%" }

Constants. Nothing behind them. Only Database and Autopilot carried a real signal.

What it cost

Found 2026-08-11: GitHub→Gluecron mirroring had been dead for weeks — vapron 522 commits behind, davenroe 65, alecrae.com 17, zoobicon.com and jarvis-platform 5 each — and this page read "All systems operational · 100.0% · 6/6 services up" the entire time. The drift was eventually found by comparing git ls-remote between hosts by hand, not by any signal on this page.

A page that cannot go red is not a status page.

The rule now

A row may claim Operational only when something on this request actually established it.

The hero counter now reads monitored-up / monitored-total. Counting the unprobed rows as down would read as an outage; counting them as up was the lie. The honest denominator is what we can actually see.

"Not monitored" is styled deliberately grey, never green — an unmeasured surface must not read as a healthy one at a glance.

Also fixed

The Database subtitle said "Neon PostgreSQL". Production runs pgvector/pgvector:pg16 in Docker on the master box. Crediting a vendor we don't use is the same class of untruth as the constants.

Verification

• tsc --noEmit clean
• status-uptime.test.ts + status-seo.test.ts — 19 pass, 0 fail

Follow-up worth doing

AI Review and CI Runner now say "Not monitored" honestly, but the better end state is a real probe for each. This change makes their absence visible instead of papering over it — which is the prerequisite for anyone bothering to build them.

Found during the fleet dead-surface sweep. Related: PR #5482 (mirror-sync could never report failure). Context: FINDINGS.md F20/F27 in ccantynz/platform-contracts.

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